Treating my home like the fire.

Working with the fire all week at Sundance is this golden opportunity to learn about our mind, relationship to self and being in relationship with others (brothers and sisters). Looking after the fire is like looking after a Zen garden. I’ve never looked after a Zen garden except for a miniature Zen garden, even though my goal at the moment is to turn any space on the land I am living on into a beautiful space to be appreciated and perhaps inspirational for anyone who visits the space.

But back to the fire. It requires balance and care 24/7. The fire is inside a half moon created by sand, and it lays on sand. When wood falls and looks out of place, it is cared for. If coals pop out of place, they are cared for to present the fire in a beautiful way.

Having this opportunity to work with the fire, I decided this week I want my home to be like the fire.

I have been cultivating my home now for just under 2 years to bring it into an intentional place. I am blessed to have masters stay at my home, as it has pushed me to make it beautiful for their stay. What I have realized the last couple of times when I have been preparing my home for their stay is that I am not preparing it for them.

Meaning, I am not bringing order to my home for them, even though it is important their stay is comfortable. I realized the standard I have for welcoming them is the standard I have for myself. It is for me to enjoy my home.

I want a home that is masterful in presentation. Intentional spaces and the small details, just like the fire, are cared for.

Such as a closet I recently took care of, which has supplies for my furry friend Pando, and the other side has supplies for gardening. Well, it was messy, unorganized and not pleasant on the eyes. So I put everything in order and, in turn, found the last 5 dried minnow treats for Pando that he purred to when eating them.

Being detailed, fine-tuning, whatever you want to call it.

In a course I took a few years back, I learned the distinction “everything matters,” even the small stuff. I have been more and more connected, or I should say committed, to this lifestyle because I know the more order I have, the more time I can move my vision forward. It’s a gift to be learning all this because it’s all connected with my vision: living into leadership.

I am reminded of words I heard Jordan Peterson say. It goes something like, “before you go save the world, clean your bedroom.” Wise words.

I have organized two fundraisers through 2 events, which ended up being very costly for me both times. One in 2019, I jumped in and I didn’t jump in, if you know what I mean. I held back, blocking all the flow. Same again in December of 2024. Same place, better flow, but in the end, blocked all the flow.

Just like my home: messy closets, several boxes of unorganized documents, years of unfinished taxes, writings like these on scratch paper.

Tonight is a good night.

I began another 100 day challenge with 2 accountability partners who I met through an excellent program that was created by Marcus Bell called Wealth and Impact Bootcamp. I learned so much from this program, and I did not use it to its full capacity as I created blocks to flow.

Why? Poor habits and no defined system on how to create my days.

I’ve known the power of structure for some time, but it has not come easy. I am enjoying the process of creating systems for my life, or perhaps systems within a greater system of my life.

There has been a Chief in my life for over a decade now, and I remember noticing several years back, when I started purging stuff and wanting a more intentional life, how he was structured or intentional with everything.

What I noticed first was whenever he went to get something from his backpack or medicine bag, he always found it quickly. He knew/knows where everything is. Never spending time looking for items.

The fact I noticed this obviously pointed to the fact that my backpack and medicine bags are still lacking a system. I can recognize I am missing key ingredients to make it all work efficiently.

But this awareness of where I want to be is part of the gift of the process. I have got to that place of having experienced enough frustrations by leaving something at home or stuffing documents in my bag, which end up at the bottom and pretty much represent the chaos that still exists. I can say I am closer than ever to having it all work.

Writing this is therapeutic, as in the past I wouldn’t have wanted people to know this about me. But I am at that point where I am not interested in keeping secrets.

I heard from two people in the space of a few months. One being the Chief: “if you give your secrets away, no one can own you.”

Let that sink in.

I believe this is a big part of my journey. Being open and vulnerable, knowing ridicule will quite possibly be part of my life moving forward in how I share via spoken word or written word.

But as I have been reminded over and over again, when I calm my mind, it’s all an illusion. Protecting this ego from being ridiculed is just an illusion. It’s not who we are.

We are so much more than these thoughts, these emotions, this body, our past.

This is true freedom: to discover and remember this truth.